between the binaries...

A sense of abstraction surrounds me as I sit and take a sip of smooth whiskey. Unaware of what the life holds for me for tomorrow and the days to come. Is savoring the today a cardinal sin? I don't think so. After all, seize the day is the mantra for the new age folks like myself. Inconsequential existence renders one so drained out that seeking an escape becomes the only one want that we hold dear to our hearts and try to safeguard it till the time we breathe our last. What is this willingness to hold our own a product of anyways? Isn't it the product of day-to-day drudgery? I guess so. Well, then your guess can differ from mine; considering we all are a part of a post-modernist generation, aren't we? Nonetheless, here I sit. Trying to wade off today and implicitly planning my tomorrow to just solidify my sense that tomorrow is, if not better, at least as good as today. Is that again a cardinal sin? It certainly can never be. After all what will happen to all those w...

Open space, vast expanse of nothingness. Abyss exists below, above and around me. I was sitting on the Globe. I was sitting on the world. I was sitting on planet earth. The darkness ensued everywhere. I was slipping. I was slipping in to the abyss. I tried my best to cling on to the surface; but nothing happened. I couldn’t even clench my fingers on to the surface of the world that seemed to have gotten flat. The gravitational pull of the nothingness continued to lure me towards itself, as I tried in vain to sustain myself and to survive. I fell and fell deep. Sailing in the hollowspehere, I land on a bed covered in a thick white sheet. I wake up with a heavy heart and sweat all over my body. I clench to the corners of the bed to feel assured. A few moments later, I step down from my bed and I get sucked. I look down and see a quicksand. I get pulled into it. Seeing the bed by my side, I reach out to it; but then it breaks. It snaps out. It gives away. The last shard of sup...

Everything is incidental out there, including and especially existence. Existence of human kind; and if a human being is a part of nature, then by that yardstick even nature is - after all the most haunting question to me - personally - has been if nature was ever planned or did it happen by accident? If the existence of nature is by accident, then yes - all other things also exist as a way of chance. Now if that is true, then the only thing that is consequential and holds any sort of weight is chance. Rest everything is as inconsequential as they come. What then is the purpose of anything? What then is the purpose of human efforts all through this state of existence called life? Aren't we all trying to, in vain of course, create a justification for things and their being by working to find meaning? Aren't we trying to provide ourselves a reason to believe that there is a very strong purpose as to why somethings happen? Are they in anyone's control? If they are, the...

Moments in time when the mind just wavers in all possible directions. These are moments when the body is just limited by the inability to comprehend the true liberation of the mind and therefore regresses into a feeling of being zoned out or feeling disoriented or just not being there. Why does it happen to me ever so often? Am I lost in a heap of thoughts or is it just that I simply sit back and take whatever life dishes out and then eventually feel bad about it that causes me to realize my own impotency? Just not able to focus on anything, I am bored of almost everything and anything that surrounds me... Is it a communication starvation or simply that lack of high that the mind has gotten used to? Even when I refer to a high, what exactly am I referring to? Am I actually talking about the high caused by the intake of substance or is it a high that is relished more because of the presence of a certain company? And what does this company do to you? Does this company grow to defin...

I get up, I get pushed down. I get up again and I get pushed down. Beaten, battered, bruised and pushed to an extreme, every time I get up just with the hope of never being pushed again. They say change is the only thing that is constant in the world; I beg to differ somehow. The way I look at things, I feel the only thing that is constant and forever existent is – abuse! Abuse of what kind? Or what kinds? Well, there can’t be a definitive answer to that, Ladies and Gentlemen! Because what one considers to be abuse also depends on the perception of the abuser and abused. Can not doing anything be a job too? Well, for most of the women in this world that seems to be a full time occupation. Also for some guys, that seems to be a way of life. Philosophy/tranquility/spirituality is what they choose to call it. Is it really any of the things that it is said to be? It depends on what side of the line you belong to. But then again, is there any difference between what lies o...

“Something tells me that this is never going to end” speaks Anirudh more to himself while keeping the controller of his gaming console aside for a moment to go for a loo break. A knock on the door captures his attention… “Yeah ma, what is it?” screams he while peeing in the loo. “Lunch, son. What else could it be?” “Ashok, you’ve to do something about Anirudh. He has just become lost in his world. The gaming thing, you know. It’s just taken control of him – completely! The room has become his solitary confinement that he has begun to adore.” Says a tense Vidya while holding a plate in her hands which has sambar rice, okras and some applams. She waits at the door while Ashok very nonchalantly goes on eating his lunch. He is just busy stuffing the remaining portions of rotis in his mouth because he has to hurry back to work. “Don’t worry, Vidya. I will try and speak to him. But either ways, I don’t really think you should be that bothered, because he is performing brilliantly in hi...

"Damn!" Vilas screams and jumps off his bed and find the entire bed sheet soaked in blood. Before he could gather his senses, he raises his hands to wipe the dripping sweat off his forehead only to find himself in further shock. His hands are bathed in blood too. He slaps himself to see whether he is in delirium or he is in consciousness. He removes the bedsheet from the bed to see the extent of blood smeared on the bed, and he discovers a body with a knife stabbed in the chest and the face is covered with a pillow. He moves the pillow apart to see the face of the man, and almost as if someone had just pulled the rug from under his feet. The man's face looks similar to his own. Not being able to decipher the incident, he opens the window of the hotel room and jumps out from his 2nd floor room and runs. While he is out on the streets, he feels a vibration in his top shirt pocket. He reaches out for the pocket and fetches his mobile phone. The number se...